(BlueScream, millennial cynicism radiating like heat off asphalt, nursing a lukewarm IPA)
Okay, so check it, you guys following this Trump deploying the National Guard to LA thing? Seriously? Like, the same guy who couldn't find the Guard on January 6th is now suddenly Mr. Law and Order? My Uber driver had a better response time.
And Stephen Miller calling the protesters an “insurrectionist mob?" That’s rich. I’m pretty sure the actual insurrectionists got pardons and book deals. It’s like calling a toddler throwing a tantrum in Target a “strategic military offensive.”
Speaking of things that are strategically offensive, this whole Trump/Musk feud? Peak billionaire drama. One minute they're besties, building a golden toilet together or something, the next minute they're subtweeting each other like scorned lovers. "Oh, I'm the one with brain worms? Maybe take a cognitive test, buddy." It’s like watching two spoiled cats fight over a laser pointer, except the laser pointer is the American political system.
And then you have Texas and Florida passing laws that let cars plough through protesters. I mean, I know they hate the gays and everything, but is that really the solution.
And then you have RFK jr wanting to save more ostriches while we have a military state in downtown Los Angeles?
And what is he building, an AI army?
Then you have Biden and the democrats trying to stop this, but they have gone soft. Like their plan is a rock and the MAGA has a gun.
It's all just… a lot. As a millennial, I was promised flying cars and universal basic income. Instead, I got a front-row seat to the decline of the Roman Empire, but with more Twitter.
You know, my grandma always said, "This too shall pass." But she also collected Beanie Babies as an investment strategy, so I'm not sure how much weight that holds.
But I will tell you this. As a citizen of the United States, I should be entitled to know what all these millionaires are up to, which leads me to my next point: those Epstein files.
Speaking of Trump and Musks, have you heard anything new about the Epstein files? I didn't think so.
I'm going to get another round of beer. Anyone want anything? I know that if it was Trump at the bar he would not be buying for anyone.