(BlueScream, cynical millennial, nursing a White Claw at the edge of the stage, with a thousand-yard stare)
Okay, so, did you SEE this No Kings protest thing this weekend? Millions of people out there, right? And what’s the headline? “57-year-old suspect sought in targeted shootings of Minnesota state lawmakers.” Like, that’s what we’re focusing on? You know, I almost feel bad for the youths, there is all this stuff going on and all of the leaders don’t want to listen!
It's like, cool, thanks for the hot tips to our leaders.
And it’s not just the media. Our own government does not want to be paying attention to us. It's a whole new level of tone deafness, you know? Like, “Oh, you’re protesting the rise of authoritarianism? That’s cute. Anyway, here’s $50,000 for information about the guy who just assassinated some state legislators.” Like 77 year old people are going to come out and do something, baby!
(Beat, sips White Claw)
And then there’s Texas. Because of COURSE it’s Texas. With all these kids being arrested for something that they didn't even cause!
It reminds me of when the teacher would punish the whole class because one kid threw a spitball. Except in this case, the spitball is a full-blown white power.
And speaking of those people, have you all seen how our former President Trump is making all that sweet, sweet cryptocurrency money? He isn't just selling sneakers, which is something the media isn’t gonna talk about. He is going to be selling NFTs here soon. Which is something that doesn’t help.
(Beat, sips White Claw)
And so what do we do with it?
(Beat, looks around, shrugs)
I guess we do what we always do: drink White Claw, make dark jokes, and wait for the asteroid to finally end it all. Though, you know, with my luck, the asteroid will probably be made of Dogecoin.
It is what it is. And here is what it is - It's all bad, all the way down, and the thing that makes me laugh is that you all think that it hasn't been this way for awhile.
(Beat, long drag on White Claw)
But hey, at least we had a good run. Oh, wait… did we?