(BlueScream, late 30s, wearing an oversized "I Heart Data" t-shirt and a weary expression)
Okay, so you guys hear about Trump wanting to nuke Iran? Again? It’s like he’s stuck in a time loop, forever reliving his greatest hits, except this time the hits are… potential war crimes.
I swear, it’s exhausting being an American these days. It’s like living in a choose-your-own-adventure novel where all the endings involve some combination of climate disaster, economic collapse, and a rapidly escalating conflict in the Middle East. Oh yeah, I forgot! Now this fool even wants us to put asbestos back into all of our buildings.
So, I’ve always been told: "Go to school, get a good job, and work hard and everything will be okay!" And that’s why all I did was work so now I don’t have any connections!
And speaking of terrible ideas, did you see that a Republican lawmaker is suggesting an ICE detention center surrounded by alligators? Seriously? I thought “thoughts and prayers” was the GOP’s go-to solution for everything. Apparently, now it's "alligators and thoughts and prayers.” It’s like, where do they find these people? Do they just hold open calls at monster truck rallies?
(Shakes head)
But you know what’s even more ridiculous? They’re already trying to spin it like it’s a good thing. “Oh, it’ll be a deterrent! It’ll save taxpayer money! It’ll give the alligators something to eat!” I have to give it to them. They are good at marketing. It’s just a shame it is evil.
That is why it is now time for me to save us all.
I’m not talking a revolution, I am talking about taking down all of the internet. If people can't see all the bad things happening to them all the time, maybe just maybe, things will go back to normal. I call it the Luddite Strategy 2.0.
But I'm kidding again. What I would do is what most of us should have been doing a long time ago, you should just go out there and just be good!
We are all going to be remembered a lot better if we don’t go out there and try to be the absolute best and try to help and hurt someone else. Just live.
It’s not that complicated, if you are able to.
And so as BlueScream I leave you, I hope that what I have said will change the world. Or not! I don't care anymore! But seriously, good luck! Remember, the only thing constant is change and also that most toasters are sentient so choose wisely.