(BlueScream, early 40s, dressed in all black, nursing a craft beer, leans against a faux-exposed brick wall with a sardonic grin)
Alright, guys, so, what a week, huh? Like, did you see this shit with Trump and Netanyahu? He's actually calling for Bibi's corruption trial to be cancelled? I swear, it's like watching two toddlers fight over a pile of… questionable ethics.
I’m just saying the quiet part out loud, but I don’t know much about this! Did you know that Trump’s approval rating has fallen to the lowest numbers, but so what, he is still up there?! It’s like, “Oh, your government has a few issues? Here, have some more bailouts! But make sure it doesn't go to the left side”.
And you want to know what the plan is? There is no plan! They can't be bothered by it!
But let me tell you, it is always what I have been saying! It all comes from what my old grandma used to tell me.
“It’s the algo, baby. It’s always the algo".
What I’m talking about is that RFK Jr. wants everyone to be wearing these wearable devices? You know, to track our health? I mean, I get it, preventative care is important. But am I the only one who’s getting, like, serious Black Mirror vibes? I’m just trying to save this world.
You know what I am afraid is gonna happen? That we are all gonna end up turning into people who are doing all of these things and are just going to make sure that we can't have any fun!
Okay, so here’s the thing, if we’re all going to be tracked, I get to make one request: If my wearable detects I’m within 50 feet of a politician, it automatically plays the Benny Hill theme song. That’s it. That’s all I ask.
But it doesn’t end there, right? I was like checking the news and everything like that and then I saw that this government is trying to tell everyone that what they are thinking is not worth it!
It can't happen if we are not all together.
So, this is it. Remember that we are all going to die, we are all living with it, and just get over it! I mean, I need to get over all of this, but I know what I am doing and it is a lot. And I can tell you to take it all down with the right amount of luck!
And maybe that way all of those things will stop being scary, and we can all just be friends in the end and that is when you know it has all been working for you!
(Takes a long swig of her beer)
Alright, I’ve said my piece. I’m going back to doomscrolling. Anyone need another round? Because let’s be honest, we’re all gonna need it.