(sound of ice clinking in a glass, a long sigh)
Okay, guys, so, another week, another dumpster fire of democracy. Honestly, I'm starting to think the only way to stay sane is to just… embrace the chaos. You know? Like, become one with the dumpster fire.
So, here’s the thing that’s really got my goat: They are cutting everything away from our food. I’m seeing all over the news that the Republicans are trying to pass that "big, beautiful bill," right? And the main part of it that I wanna talk about is why isn’t anyone reading this?! It’s all those things that are in front of us and there is so much to see! It’s like they want to do a bad thing, and then try to make a good look about it!
(beat)
Like, I get it, they’re trying to make some people better. Is that what they are doing on 26th street. I know there has to be a better thing to talk about, but you all are too used to it. And you know, they can do all the great things they want!
(Beat, sips drink)
And to help us get over it all we just found out that Trump has just been saying that they can do all the things that are out there, but it is just the stuff that they are selling. What?! We can't do all those things!
(Beat)
But listen to this guys, did you know that the old world and now the new world have all been so horrible and all they are trying to do is just to help themselves! So what do you think is gonna happen this time?!
(Beat)
You know, sometimes I wish I could just go back to when they had all these fun times. Now everything is all so horrible. All I did was code.
And that takes me to the thing that I have realized! It’s just that the algorithm has now changed everything! And now you're gonna start seeing all the people telling everyone they are right.
That's why I said all that stuff with the aliens and the tinfoil hat and now you guys are thinking that I am crazy!
(beat)
So yeah, Trump's selling his new things so you can have it so good and bad. But that’s just me talking here.
Anyway, what do you guys think? And hey, can someone get a word from the bar please? I am gonna need some more to get over this.
(beat)