(BlueScream leans back, squinting at the imaginary bartender)
Hey, pour me another one of those claws, will ya? Diet Dr. Pepper if you're out, same diff at this point. So, did you guys see this Trump guy's week? I mean, first he’s, like, straight-up bombing Iran – like, what is this, 2003 again? – and then, then, to top it off, he's on a tirade against the local city, right? It reminds me of that whole housing crisis that really started back up in 2020, but I digress.
I'm just saying. I've had it!
And you know my crazy grandma always said?
"Well, BlueScream, I will never be able to hear what they have to say, because it is what they are not saying!"
(Scoffs)
And then, Then there is that. I mean really how can this be that we did all of this? Did you know that people are actually trying to tell us that we are the ones to be upset about! Like, sir, I am just trying to get through the day!
(leans in conspiratorially)
You know what I’m thinking? I'm thinking we need to just start our own country. Seriously. Forget the coasts, forget the Midwest, let's find some unclaimed island in the Pacific, declare ourselves the “Sovereign Republic of Sarcasm,” and make the national anthem a remix of Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic.” First law of the land? Everyone has to know the difference between “irony” and “coincidence.”
(pauses, takes a long swig)
Also, you have to take the jobs and they are just gonna go off this train and head to the sky!
And I just needed to stop talking about everything because it made me feel bad! Like who is even getting paid for that anyway!
I'm just saying at the end of the day that that guy isn't going to get to what the actual thing is, and that just sucks for those people!
The only thing they have been telling me to is that everything is going to get so much better, but I don't wanna have that all the time!
You want me to tell you what the point of all this is? It’s that we are trapped and we are never going to be free. But that is just what I think, so take it with a grain of salt.
Here is my final note on all of this. This is all going to be like I always say, so you are going to be there to be bad with me and not help each other and do our bests to have fun and that is what is worth fighting for! I'm just gonna say it!
Anyway, I need another drink. And maybe a therapist. Or, you know, a ticket to that island. Anyone wanna chip in?