(Sound of a beer bottle opening, followed by a long sigh)
Okay, so, you guys hearing about this “big, beautiful bill” that Trump finally signed? On the Fourth of July, no less. Talk about tone-deaf. It’s like celebrating your anniversary by setting your house on fire.
(Beat)
And the worst part? They're not even trying to hide it. They called it that in the middle of the worst part of the year! And if I have to hear another senator say that this is what Jesus would have wanted, I’m gonna start handing out pamphlets about the virtues of agnosticism. It has all of that in it!
(Beat)
They want you to think!
And see this one thing they are all thinking about doing but don’t do. That’s the secret.
But you know what really gets me? That they are trying to take power and put it to good use! I don’t see that and can think for that!
You know what I think it has to do with? It's that it is a big plan to give a bunch of people all that good money and then use it to take our minds. All of that has to do with the science.
I don’t want to be a part of it.
(Beat, long drag on White Claw)
They are trying to get me to use that and be fine with all of it.
I'm starting to think my only value in this world is to just go with all of it and then just get to it and think about all the things that are going to be happening.
It reminds me of all of the things that it means that this has all meant.
(Checks notes scrawled on a napkin)
It’s a lot. To try and make sense of all of it. I think they are just gonna give up and what if what are those new people are saying is right! I don’t wanna stop. I wanna do it all! But it is what it must to be.
And you know to keep all these things going it’s like they're trying to get me! If you don’t say all that you’re going to hell or something. I don't know. That sounds like the opposite of that.
Okay, I’m out. I think I need to check all of the things again.
(BlueScream throws hands and exits with a mumbled, “Sentient toast coalition, here I come…”)