(sound of a beer bottle opening, followed by a long sigh)
Alright, so, you guys seeing this thing with Trump finally signing that "big, beautiful bill" on the Fourth of July? I swear, it’s like he’s deliberately trying to rewrite the American origin story. Like, instead of fireworks and freedom, now it’s just… tax cuts for billionaires and a slightly smaller social safety net. It's like “Here’s your emancipation, and a coupon for 10% off at the company store!”
And you wanna know what this reminds me of, those “influencers” telling you they can help you retire by giving you a discount code to their favorite broker.
(beat, sips beer)
But what I wanted to know is why we were even so concerned about what this one person from this election, and why is it that none of these guys in these shows ever talk about how none of you are making that much money or having a good time and those are what should actually be happening!
(leans in conspiratorially)
It gets even better and why is that if they are trying to make some alligators from those who have been so much trouble. Are we just gonna let that all pass by without even knowing where the hell they are?
Are those guys all that we know about?!
(beat)
I think it is just high time for the people who are running the world to do more to make the people happy. Because what are we actually doing?
(stares into the middle distance, lost in thought)
It's like, they're so busy fighting over scraps of power, they don’t even realize the whole damn table is about to collapse. It's like we are all gonna fall into this hole!
Then again, I’m just an engineer, what do I know?
(Beat)
You know there is one thing I am always going to go back to. It's that all of these people that I love are so much better than all of that.
Anyway, anyone need another beer? I'm buying… until my student loan payments kick in next month. Then, it’s back to ramen and tap water for yours truly. It's just the facts.