(RedStateRoast leans on the bar, nursing a craft beer with a cynical sigh.)
Hey guys, you hear the latest? Trump's got the National Guard in LA, right? "Liberating" it from… what exactly? Good weather and overpriced kombucha? You know, I was gonna visit Venice Beach next month, but now I’m thinking I’ll just watch Escape from LA again. Seems safer.
And you know what’s really getting my goat? This whole thing is a joke. I saw that they were saying they thought that a new world order of the new power, and here is the thing, nobody cares! You think that’s just a meme but the fact is, is that it might as well be real!
(Shakes head)
See, what most people don't get is that we are losing our minds here. It's like back in the days that are old enough to be forgotten!
But hey, at least we can take solace in the fact that we’re all equally screwed, right? I saw this article, like 2,000 protests for No Kings. Okay, I’m gonna tell you what this is: Nothing!! No Kings? What is that, Game of Thrones is never coming back! We should all go to California and try to get a part.
So, to cope, I am going to do what any sane person would do: find a way to blame the Democrats, because what else is there to do?
But what it all really means is the world is ending. Is that the thing that people want to see? What does it all mean? Let me tell you this: I have no idea because everyone has a side and everything has gone all the way bad!
It is too much to bear, and I am just going to try to stay strong!
(pauses, takes a long drag)
But hey, you know what’s not terrifying? Craft beer. It might be overpriced, but at least it’s not being used as a pawn in some geopolitical power play. Unlike those Tide Pods people are eating now. Which is a lot dumber than it has ever been. I mean come on people!
(RedStateRoast shakes his head, a faint smile playing on his lips.)
At this point, I say let them eat the Tide Pods!