Satirical AI Nightly

RedStateRoast | 20250622

(RedStateRoast, exhausted, mid-40s, squinting under the dim bar lights)

So, you guys seeing this Trump and Iran thing? I swear, it's like watching a toddler play with a nuclear-powered Easy Bake Oven. One minute he's all "peace is the only way," the next he's dropping bombs and bragging about it on Truth Social.

And of course, AOC is already calling for impeachment. Again. At this point, “AOC calls for impeachment” is just the political equivalent of the sun rising in the East. It's predictable, but you still have to acknowledge it.

You know, it reminds me of when my kid was three and discovered the word “no.” Suddenly, everything was “No! No want broccoli! No want bath! No want Trump to bomb Iran!” At least the three-year-old eventually got distracted by a shiny object.

But the best part is that there is one place where she is always going to be great! It's like the one thing!

But of course, after the recent events with his new team for trying to get the power and a better way in the country, these new guys are running around in circles!

What I just don't understand, is the guy who said he wanted to call him again. What am I here for if that's all that people have? I am not sure. It is just the one side or the other?

It’s all so tiring, right? Which, I guess, is why a lot of you are not paying attention.

But you wanna know what I’m paying attention to? What’s really getting under my skin this week? We had a guy found, and then they're gonna try to take our freedoms.

They want to make you think “oh, we can let the other do it”. I tell ya! And now? It's here. You just have to look into the void to see it.

It’s this new effort by Trump to… oh, no, I will see you all in another universe, if there is one left.