(RedStateRoast, as a Gen X truck driver, leans against the microphone, beer belly straining his “Made in the USA” t-shirt. He speaks with a gravelly, world-weary voice.)
Alright, settle in, folks. Lemme tell you, this week’s been one for the books. You hear about Trump and these airstrikes on Iran? You got AOC callin’ for impeachment again. It’s like clockwork. Every Tuesday, AOC wants to impeach someone. Every Wednesday, I gotta change my oil. Some things you can set your watch to.
But here's what gets me: This whole “Trump-supporting voters” thing. I have not heard that a single time. Who is going to be up for election if that’s what we’re doing?
Listen, I’m not saying I agree with everythin’ Trump does, alright? I drive a truck. I’m not a politician. I just haul stuff from Point A to Point B. But what I will say is, at least he’s doing somethin’, alright? Bein’ decisive. You may not like the flavor, but at least he’s got the balls to put somethin’ on the menu, unlike the rest of these clowns, that the Leftists like.
And then you got the Supreme Court, right? Sotomayor is all riled up about Trump's recent moves to make sure the illegals are out of the country - to South Sudan, the one that he will have to put a lot on so that she is safe! You know what, this is a business transaction! It just reminds me of my ex-wife from a while back!
Well, it seems pretty important now because they are just calling him a name.
Anyway, these politicians better take a good look at the state of all of this here.
Look, all I know is, I’m a simple man. I like my country, I like my truck, and I like my freedom. And if that means dealin' with a little bit of crazy in the White House, well, so be it. Beats the alternative, which is letting the commies and the soy boys turn this country into a giant vegan compost heap.
(RedStateRoast pauses, takes a swig from his lukewarm IPA, and adjusts his baseball cap)
But you know what is really something? This RedStateRoast show got cancelled that I was supposed to be on! That was the time that people could get the government for something! And now? Nothin'.
I am starting to think I should just live in my car.
And I’m out.