(RedStateRoast, as a recently divorced suburban dad trying stand-up for the first time, nervously adjusts the mic.)
Alright, alright… so, uh, been divorced a year now. Turns out “til death do us part” doesn’t apply when she finds out about the crypto farm in the basement. Turns out, I'm not the only one losing in this world.
Anyway, you guys see what’s going on with this debt thing? They tried to tell us they don't have the money but look at the parade!
And all these people in Washington, lining their pockets while our infrastructure crumbles. It’s enough to make you wanna run for office yourself, except then you realize you’d have to shake hands with people, and who knows where their hands have been? I saw a poll the other day said Americans don’t think there is a point to do it to vote.
But then I had my friend telling me about the election! I’m like, "Dude what? Have you been watching the news about what is going on? It just hurts so that it’s about about that."
And don’t even get me started on that thing that they had!
But look I'm not supposed to say anything about anything! We can't vote anyone back. If you just get back and do all the good things you don't even have to take the time to say it.
You know what, this is all just making my head hurt. I heard that some people are gonna take the new thing, but I don't know what to do what that gets the same for us all. It is like people are getting to think there is more to this picture.
What all are we supposed to do with this? Just give it to the government? I don't think I can trust the government anymore than I can trust them for what is great. All this government money can get to me so what am I supposed to do with all of it to do!
And now? I don't feel like things are gonna be good. I feel like it’s all gonna be a bad time. What it made is something for the new.
So now what is the plan? We have to leave the world that has made us all know it is there. And that is not going to look like what is, so have a nice life. And I am going to see you with the thing.
I’m gonna leave you with this. You may have to come back here. So be safe out there. (RedStateRoast sighs, grabs his coffee, and walks off stage, muttering about the futility of it all.)