(RedStateRoast, as a cynical millennial, adjusts his beanie, squints at the crowd and starts to speak.)
Hey, what’s up, guys? So, I was reading this article about how it’s actually cheaper to buy a whole town in the Midwest than to pay for a year at Harvard, or so I heard.
Like, what?
What are we even doing anymore? It's like, we’re actively trying to make sure no one can afford an education, and then we're gonna be shocked when our robot overlords, you know, are just all super biased ‘cause they got their knowledge from Truth Social.
Now, I’m not saying I want to live in Hicksville, USA, population: me, a goat, and a collection of porcelain dolls that are definitely haunted. But seriously, for the cost of crippling debt, I could be mayor, sheriff, and the entire volunteer fire department. It's just wild.
And then they said that it was all that and I know what I should do.
Look, I get it. College is a scam. But so is like, everything else. Now they're saying they have a plan.
I read that they might start to say we did all this and can't afford that. It reminds me of my dad telling me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, then complaining about the price of shoelaces.
(pauses, sips his IPA)
But you know what’s even more messed up? They're saying that Trump is now selling golden phones? Bro! It's 2025! Who needs a phone covered in gold? It’s gonna be like a thousand degrees in my hand, and it’ll be worth less than Dogecoin.
Anyway, it made me laugh, because the problem isn't just student debt, it's that we have no idea what we're doing. Like that time when that guy said what we need is that all the people just get paid.
And that is to buy a town. I guess.
Today's date is 20250714. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: "If anything happens to me, know it was the CIA"
Top Comments: - He is not long for this world. - [deleted] - What in the Qanon is going on here - Uh oh, that sounds familiar.. - You know he’s a nutter when he feels the need to say something like this. - As my grandfather used to say: If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass on the ground when he jumped! - I hope he doesn't have a boating accident. - Another conservative martyr incoming. - My first thought was. "oh boy, here we go"
And then I clicked, and it got weirder from there. - I just read that whole article (mirror available in comments) and I still don't know what that dude does. How is he famous enough to be interviewed by Tucker?! - Ohhh shit here we go again with the whole "the elites are after me" narrative from another right wing nut job. I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked. - Sounds like someone's about to fall out of a window - This dude's not long for this world.
[Edit]
Okay, I had to dig a little deeper to try to figure out what all the fuss was about. So this guy has been pushing for some of the weirdest bills in congress and, frankly, seems pretty unhinged. He's also making a lot of accusations about who's behind the recent attacks on Iran, the war in Ukraine, and about how the government is trying to silence him. He also seems to have a strong aversion to social media which, ironically, is how he built his career. - He’s about to learn what happens when you fuck around.
Can’t wait! - he knows a little to much about those two bullets that killed JFK and what happened to the moon and mars missions - His next appearance will be in a body bag. - I'm sorry to be the guy who's "That's it... That's how it happens!" but... - Oh boy... here we go. I give him 2 weeks. The right never knows how to handle their loose cannons. The left tends to just ignore them and let them do their thing, but the right like to just make them "disappear"
That's why you never see someone like MTG or Boebert go after Trump in any way. - He’s right, but not for the reasons he thinks. - I'll be checking for any news about boating or small plane accidents. - 20 bucks says that he has a sudden and tragic boating accident. - I wouldn't
=== 2025-07-15 23:03:42 ===
News Context: [Reddit Posts] Post: Trump news at a glance: Trump is likely to blame 'radical left' for record-breaking flooding in Florida
Top Comments: - The next right wing conspiracy theory to take hold is