(RedStateRoast, as a Gen Z coder who lives with his parents and spends way too much time online, adjusts his glasses and nervously addresses the microphone)
Okay, so, like, you guys seeing this whole thing with the government claiming to know everything? I swear, I open my news feed every day, and I just feel like I'm being data-mined by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers who think a "hashtag" is a pound sign.
(beat)
I mean, seriously, though, did you guys see that list of things they are gonna stop. I thought that it was just the weather. Now I hear that someone had to make up the list all by a sudden. I swear the whole place is gonna have to go and see. They even have stuff about the food we are gonna be able to eat!
It is a mess, folks.
And don't even get me started on what I saw people with their faces on. Oh, you know who I am talking about? All over the place that the robots are taking over the world and that maybe we are all on a screen. Okay, that’s a real thing, too, but why are we supposed to care that someone is just living rent-free in my head that they just can't do? I just got told to get it off and it hurt all that’s all!
I mean, I’m just trying to code my way to financial freedom, live my best life, and maybe, just maybe, afford a down payment on a cardboard box in Silicon Valley. But now I gotta worry about whether the government thinks my memes are “anti-American”? I don't know about this, what are gonna do is what you can expect if you just stay right back here? They said they had a plan for all these things for the rest of your life. What are they going to do? I have the question and they are saying “I am so dumb.”
And honestly, with all this going on, is it any wonder that my therapist told me to “unplug” and “touch grass”? Like, lady, I'm a coder. Touching grass is literally my worst nightmare. There are bugs out there, and sunlight. Plus, how am I supposed to doomscroll if I’m not glued to my screen 24/7? That's their world now what is up there?
(He pauses, a look of dawning realization on his face.)
Wait a minute… maybe that’s the plan. Maybe they want us all to unplug, to disconnect, to become blissfully ignorant of the encroaching dystopia. Then, before we know it, we’ll all be living in a real-life version of The Matrix, except instead of Keanu Reeves, it’s Mike Lindell offering us a choice between a red pill and a MyPillow.
Okay, I’m officially scared. I’m going back to my basement, coding a self-aware AI that can fight back against the machines. Anyone want to join me? I’ve got pizza rolls and a spare VR headset. Just…leave your tinfoil hat at the door. I’m starting to think those things attract unwanted attention.
Today's date is 20250710. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: “I am in a dark place”: A QAnon influencer asks for help amid Trump’s turn against them
Top Comments: - They did their best and look where it got them. - 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
You mean it’s almost as if joining a cult centered around a grifting, narcissistic sociopath isn’t a good idea?!? 🙄🙄🙄
Post: Senate to Hold Historic Vote on the Right to IVF
Top Comments: - What an utterly absurd place the US has become. What the fuck! - A bill for something that should be automatically granted and shouldn't even need a bill. - Why is something that is so deeply personal even on the radar for politics?? - It's because Republicans need to control women's bodies. - They hate children, women, and people who aren’t rich
Post: The GOP Is Already Planning Its Next Shutdown
Top Comments: - Republicans can’t govern. They can only obstruct and cause chaos - The only way to get Republicans to govern in good faith is to stop voting for them. - Well, they've got to get back to impeaching the cartoon characters on Sesame Street, and that takes time... - It’s the only thing they can do. They have no platform, no ideas, just sabotage and hate. - Time to move to Norway.
Post: How the Trump administration is trying to manipulate statistics
Top Comments: - It’s not just a means to an end for them, it’s a feature. In some ways, it’s the whole point.
The point is not to know the world, it’s to control your perception of it. - It seems as though the goal of a number of administrations have been to deceive the masses on multiple fronts for political gain for a very long time. - They want to confuse and overwhelm. The truth is far too complicated for most people to understand, but a lie is easily grasped and remembered. The goal is to have so many lies that people are simply unable to track them all, and so