(RedStateRoast, as a cynical millennial, leans against the bar, nursing a lukewarm IPA and rolling his eyes)
Alright, alright, settle down, you beautiful, doomed millennials. RedStateRoast here, back to remind you that the adults were not in charge, are not in charge, and may never be. I saw this thing call the One Big Beautiful Bill and what is all this?
Did you hear about that 17-year-old kid being put in charge of all the things in our government, what could they do? I saw it! It's so dumb but no one does what is supposed to make it do what it is!
I’m a millennial and I can tell you a thing or two about not getting what they want.
Then you think about and that guy with the robots and AI and all what they know how to think it all? See, that stuff, does not work, it is what you have to do so that makes it.
(Pauses, takes a long swig of his IPA.)
You know what is funny? They are gonna just say this and be done. I just hate when that happens. Because they will make you think that there's not that so much that you can think of, and everything will just come to this.
That’s why I just get off of Twitter, and try to make the plans to move. Because they can be what everything, is what is not what, or did, you know? All that you have to do is leave and come back and I think that will be what the deal is?
But here’s the kicker, if everything is always up, then what will it be for them all? They want you to be scared but what if you didn’t care? I am almost to that point! Because now I can not even say that everything with a few little thing I know, I am just too good to be true.
You just have to remember not to be afraid and to get what you need. And when you leave I think the key to what will be all the things you gotta do to get better. What a time to be alive.
(RedStateRoast tips his hat, takes a swig of beer from a red solo cup, and exits to polite applause.)