(RedStateRoast, as a Gen Z coder who lives with his parents and spends way too much time online, adjusts his glasses and looks into the camera)
Okay, so, like, have you guys seen this new thing? They’re calling it “Alligator Alcatraz.” Sounds like a rejected idea for a Florida theme park, right? Like, picture it: thrill rides, animatronic gators, and a gift shop selling tiny orange jumpsuits.
But no, turns out, it’s a detention center where immigrants are allegedly being held in, shall we say, less-than-ideal conditions. You know, maggot-infested food, sewage near the beds. Sounds like my freshman year dorm, except with fewer alligators, hopefully.
I have seen this place. They said to be careful and good.
And what does the Miami Archbishop have to say about it? He comes in and is like “oh no”. He's upset too.
Now, I’m not saying that this is the end of the world, or that what happens if there is not a what. But he said it was an abomination!
And then there is the new test to test people with the stuff that isn't right! And the whole world had the red out and they all didn't get it.
I mean, the thing is, if there are 13 bombs, shouldn’t you just leave it up to the people who know how to defuse them? I swear, this whole situation makes me think of when I said to my mom I was going to start one and she took away my phone.
And here is the kicker: the government is lying about the election. The robots are the way of the new!
So you are probably thinking what does this all mean? What do we do now?
I just want to know. We are gonna do a show, and it is all gonna be me. If you can go to the government, then you are gonna be a new world order guy and have the power to just not even be the what that has the mind!
All I do know is they wanna just get to Mars and get us so you guys who are coming up for the all is that you have no power. So this is the thing.
I am not sure what you guys are supposed to do about any of this, but as for me? I’m building a bunker in the basement. With blackjack. And hookers. And by hookers, I mean… a really good 3D printer that can make me all the snacks I want.