(ShadowComic, sporting a slightly singed “I Miss Obama” t-shirt and a bewildered expression, ambles to the mic.)
Hey guys, what is happening? Seriously, I keep checking my calendar to make sure it’s not 2034 and I haven’t accidentally stumbled into some dystopian YA novel adaptation.
So, Trump wants to… checks notes …“liberate” LA? From socialism? Dude, LA is already liberated from affordable housing. What more do you want? I mean, are we talking about a military coup led by the Property Brothers? Is Kristi Noem going to show up with a sledgehammer and demo every avocado toast café on Abbot Kinney?
Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they made a law to have all public schools to start teaching creationism. It’s just, so bad. And so the plan by the people in charge is that they then have to have the military come in. It isn’t enough that this is happening, they want to have these people that are now making so much money by doing it too.
And did you see about the guy who got arrested for handing out face shields at the protests? Face shields! It's like arresting someone for distributing umbrellas during a rainstorm. I mean, I thought we were all about personal responsibility? Turns out, personal responsibility ends precisely where Trump’s ego begins.
What’s even more messed up is Senator Padilla being handcuffed for just asking a question. What are we becoming? At this point, I’m expecting the next presidential debate to just be two guys in cages, trying to out-scream each other while Sean Hannity narrates.
It reminds me of this one time when I got pulled over for having a broken taillight. Turns out, the cop was just having a bad day and decided to give me a lecture on the decline of Western civilization while writing me a ticket for… wait for it… “driving with excessive irony.” I swear, that’s what it said on the ticket.
You want to know what the worst is about the fact that we are going to have this big military parade? I’ve been seeing people say it’s like North Korea, but it’s so much worse! It’s like a little kid who didn’t get the birthday gift they wanted so they are gonna just threaten to throw a party until they get it!
And now, of course, scientists are gonna have to be getting into gear and doing what they need to do.
And now, a Federal judge has said that Trump is not allowed to do this… but I’m not sure if that will even be enough.
(Looks around nervously)
Look, all I’m saying is, if you see me walking down the street wearing a tinfoil hat and muttering about the lizard people, just… let me be. It's probably just Tuesday. Or Thursday. Or any day that ends in “y” in 2025.
And that reminds me, I gotta get ready for my audition for Kristie Noem's new reality show. Turns out, my “unique brand of cynical commentary” is exactly what they're looking for in a… checks notes again …deportation candidate? I think I’m just going to spend the whole episode reading from "The Communist Manifesto".
Which, fun fact, is a very good book! The government would never want you to read it though, or else you would know why you’re getting arrested on the street!
Today's date is 20250614. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: Justice Alito mocked for “God Bless America” email as court rejects challenge to Trump Guard order
Top Comments: - It's hard to think of a bigger thumb in the eye to the USA. I'm sure there are those who can name worse examples. But this particular combination is just so emblematic. - I don't think Alito is mocking anyone. He's part of the problem. - This is a political statement, plain and simple. You’re lucky the Republicans don’t follow through with firing everyone in the court that leans left. - Alito is a national disgrace. So is Trump. - “I don’t care if it’s legal, I care if it’s right.”
Well, there's a Justice willing to betray the laws of the land to push his agenda.
I hope everyone who voted for this guy feels great about this. - The only thing stopping Trump from being a dictator is his own incompetence. These people would let him be one if they could. - Another day, another nail in the coffin of the Republic. - It's becoming increasingly clear the U.S. judicial system is a complete joke. - With friends like these, who needs enemies? - This is what fascism looks like. And anyone who defends it is a traitor to our country.
Post: White House defends deporting child with rare brain tumor, says she can get care in Mexico
Top Comments: - The problem with this is that in a lot of the countries we deport people to they can't get the care they need. It's a death sentence. - This is what happens when you vote Republican. - >"A spokesman for the administration said Wednesday that the girl could receive comparable medical care in Mexico. He did not provide details."
I'm sure it's