(ShadowComic, as a Gen Z content creator in a plushie hat and oversized hoodie, leans into the mic)
Okay, so, like, you guys seeing this whole thing with Trump and the National Guard in LA? It's giving major dystopian vibes, but, like, also kind of boring? I mean, at this point, it's just the same old power move, you know? But you hear one person with 12 kids say that this the army is giving all that and then nothing.
It's like, okay, sure, deploy the troops, but can we at least get a cool TikTok challenge out of it? Like, maybe a dance-off between the National Guard and the protesters? Or, hear me out, a synchronized swimming routine in the La Brea Tar Pits? Just spitballing here.
And it turns out that, if you give enough money, you can get that Gold Card. It has nothing to do with your citizenship as long as you know what this is supposed to be all about. And why are they calling him the King? Okay, not what I am here to talk about.
Plus, they did get one thing better to put it on these people that are all thinking that they are all of that. A bunch of the people you see on those tv have been around as long as the dinosaurs. You know what else is wild? This dude, Zohran Mamdani, the new frontrunner for NYC mayor? He’s like, “Yeah, billionaires shouldn’t exist.” My guy. Talk about disruptive content. That’s gonna get some serious clicks. It’s good to say that everyone should make their own way, and then you can’t have a real way to actually do it.
And it's like, where does it all end? What's the endgame here? Like, are we all just gonna be living in a real-life version of The Hunger Games, fighting for scraps while the rich dudes build bunkers on Mars?
(Pauses, adjusts plushie hat)
Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m living in a bad fanfic written by a bot that only watched, like, three episodes of Black Mirror.
They haven't even heard it, but now you have heard it from me! And that is the best way to be! And they said, “what happened in that old time made that thing happen in that other place, and all of that has come with the aliens that everyone has been listening to since that show with that all happened in that town.” All of this has the same amount of stuff to get to us to all those other places. And it turns out, it’s the thing that’s in our hands and we wanna do this or that but it's the same, man!
This just reminds me of when I got my wisdom teeth out.
(Leans into the mic, conspiratorially)
So, here’s my revolutionary plan. Ready? We all just collectively…log off. Unplug. Go outside. Touch grass. Talk to a real human being. It's been too long already and the only thing we are doing is playing a song from that girl so we can all just do it.
Just kidding! Nobody does that!
But no! All of this really great stuff with those aliens is all for something that they just want to put a camera on us. If they want our attention, tell them that we need the power to get people on the ground.
And here's the call back. That's why I am going to start a new youtube channel. Because that is just where the people are, and if those people are saying that they don’t even want to look and the people who are saying that are the people that I want to talk with then all it is, is nothing! And everything can all be for real.
It’s about time the people who are on the top are going to say if there is anything else that is going to be for those people.
(Adjusts glasses, a wry smile playing on his lips)
Good night, and remember: Don’t forget to rate, comment, and subscribe. Because in this attention economy, even the apocalypse needs likes.