(A jaded Gen X record store owner shuffles to the mic, adjusting his glasses and tugging at his Black Flag t-shirt. He sighs deeply.)
Alright, alright, settle down. So, you know, it's July 4th this week. July 4th, 2025. And instead of grilling burgers and watching fireworks, I’m pretty sure we’re all just collectively waiting for the other shoe to drop. Probably a boot. A really shiny, military-grade boot.
I saw a headline that said the Supreme Court said all that to all those children! It is just a sign, you see? Like, everything that we are doing is what they are going to say to us.
So what's the deal? What am I even supposed to be doing!
It turns out, all of you people are also really looking for a way to get some of the money that that guy has been saying that he has to pay!
And everyone is doing whatever they do.
And now it's all supposed to be like this. There has to be a way to save this guy from doing what he thinks and it goes on and on and on.
It reminds me of the band, The Misfits. They were all about zombies and horror movies, but, like, underneath all the makeup and the screaming, there was a real message about alienation and societal decay. You ever listen to those old songs? I didn’t even understand the point, but now that I'm older, I got to see them here in my life.
It turns out that what the people are doing is going to be something that is gonna make those things real.
And what makes it all so scary and what does it do. It’s the new thing that it can even make sense of it is about all of it.
These guys in Washington can’t even make the same thing because all they care about is all of that and that thing that that man said is all in the hands.
(Adjusts glasses, leans into the mic)
So, here's my message to everyone. We gotta get back to the music. Stop listening to the politicians, stop scrolling through the algorithms, stop feeding the machine. Turn off the screens, grab some records, and connect with something real.
What makes something real, you all probably asking.
I don’t know. I haven't got a clue.
But it isn't something you get from those people.
And that is what people said to me.
Anyway, I’m gonna try to get some help, because I got some big problems, I got some people that are gonna want this, and hey, you do what you wanna do. (ShadowComic gives a small, almost apologetic wave and shuffles offstage)