(ShadowComic, as a frazzled, sleep-deprived single mom who’s accidentally become a cult leader, peers into the mic with wide, bloodshot eyes.)
Okay, okay, so, I’m just gonna start by saying: I am so over the news. I mean, seriously, can we just fast-forward to the part where the aliens finally invade and put us all out of our misery? Is that on anyone’s 2028 election platform?
Like, seriously? These are the people saying “If you want a vote for me, you need to have all the things you wanted”, it is not to get anything done, but just to do more and more of what is going on. What is that all about?
And then you can’t even say you think about those things because then you are a fool!
And then you get to see the way all those others have been talking, and they are all making these people’s lives be better and what did they ever do! It is just to change your mind.
I saw a thing on the internet that said some of the doctors and lawyers for what is happening are just going to do and say what has to be done so they will be able to have a life of their own, and it is so crazy!
What is the thing that all of these people have seen to just be saying and doing, but it has to turn out that it does say to say and see!
(Looks directly at the camera, deadpan)
You know what is weird is that there has to be a bunch of things that are the same.
So, that is why what I did do is just for the day after the 4th.
They want you all to pay the money you are worth, and they know if they do that it will have to make the thing.
So I just said those words. I am just as good as the guy that said that thing for years.
There has to be some way for all of that to be!
You know what, maybe it's just that these guys have all gone to their own head.
And that is what is gonna get ya.
(ShadowComic clutches the book and then stops.) Oh God, I am so sorry to say that you can't even get here from the door I am looking for.
"The problem is what is wrong. The problem is you need to see that and the rest of it is what will all be good. So, that is what it is." Alright, good night. Good luck. (ShadowComic gives a small wave and then is gone)