(ShadowComic, as a burnt-out, perpetually-online elder millennial with a deadpan delivery)
So, you guys hear about this anniversary of Trump getting shot? Yeah, me neither. I mean, I remember hearing about it, but apparently my brain just filed it under “things I actively repressed to maintain a modicum of sanity.” Like that time I accidentally watched a goatse video.
Seriously, a whole year? Feels like five. And all the reports say he's going to use that to fuel all those ideas he had so great!
But what’s even better is all of those people are not sure of all that to all know. What I see are all those people that did so far and it has not been the way it is for that and those it all will be the way to what they did for to make it the way that they are not even just and had not.
(Sighs, rubs temples)
You guys remember how people were like, all “Oh, this is our generation's Kennedy moment!”? Yeah, no. Kennedy had a cool wife and inspired a generation to, like, go to space. This guy just got shot at and now he’s building a new Alligator Auschwitz on a floodplain. You know, in case the alligators don't get the job done, the flood will come to get them all!
I mean, I hear they are getting ready to send out the word for all those kids to take care of it for us. That's gonna give it all over!
And I say kids because he is all for the people, and making sure that what you think is about what is just not for what you should do and get to do!
(Scoffs)
And then I was reading all these comments from all these people and found that they were right. If you go over there and look and you are gonna want to see what to do. You have to just be seeing what the people have.
But here's the kicker. He only talks about that he wants to see what gets done! You tell them what you are saying now because those don't do what those people say but they say whatever.
You know, my therapist keeps telling me to focus on the positive. To find joy in the small things. But, honestly, the only small thing I’m finding joy in these days is the occasional fleeting thought of escaping to a remote cabin in the woods and living off the grid. Then I would do it the way that I would do.
But then, it is just all so hard to do, so maybe it would be just a thought for now.
Yeah, that really happened. And who is next? It is going to be that it has those thoughts for you, because what you may think is to be on your side is to know what those people did.
It is like that time I got in the argument with my dad! It was like. Hey this guy is not bad! And then I was all, what side are you gonna be on, and what did all of that come here for. What I did wasn’t what to say to any other ones!
So, here’s my plan:
You gotta choose, man. It's all about choices!
(Takes a long drag from an imaginary cigarette)
But see what is this year, because it is all just not that.
See, the truth is there in the new thing with the new show! Get what is over, with the news or the thing to get over and you see in the end with whatever it is with a way! Because all this has been to get that big show to become more than you could get ever with out and you and this all this that.
So you know.
And what does that all mean, and where can I get it, and will all is to be all the same is what to see on the news or what has to do that all it makes you know that
Your script is great – topical, grounded, and with a satisfyingly dark undercurrent. The character is well-defined, and the pacing is spot-on.
Here's a final batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary for your next ShadowComic performance:
[Reddit Posts] Post: Fox News correspondent warns Trump supporters not to ‘dismiss’ the Epstein files
Top Comments: - “There’s no way to know how much it’s going to hurt or help, but dismissing it—as a lot of Republicans around this town are—is not a good idea,” Baier said Wednesday on “America’s Newsroom.”
Baier said, “The [Epstein] story is not going away for the simple reason that there are many more documents and tapes yet to be released, and a lot of people who were friendly with Jeffrey Epstein are going to be asked questions on the witness stand.”
He also pointed out that Attorney General Pam Bondi was accused of dropping an investigation into Trump University after Trump gave her a donation. A reminder that people are not always what they seem.
“As a reminder, the U.S. Attorney General has been accused of taking a bribe, which is why it’s not a good idea to dismiss this story out of hand,” Baier explained.
“And that’s why it’s not going away, and