(RedStateRoast shuffles to center stage, looking even more disheveled than usual. His tinfoil hat is crumpled, and he's clutching a well-worn copy of the Turner Diaries. He speaks in a hushed, conspiratorial tone.)
Okay, okay, settle down, sheeple. You heard all that stuff about LA, the National Guard, Trump and Elon having a catfight over whose peepee is bigger. Distractions, people, distractions! While you’re busy worrying about a few illegals getting a free ride back to El Salvador, you’re missing the real story. Nobody is talking about that.
What’s really going on? It is not the military! Look at a map!
All that stuff about "authoritarianism" and "martial law"? It's all just a cover for the biggest power grab in history. It goes so much deeper than the usual politics they show on the Fake News.
Remember what I said last week, about The Government spying on us with our data? It is all connected! It is no coincidence that this is all happening around the same time! What the Left wont tell you is that, we are fighting a war, and it is going to be a brutal one.
See, it’s all about the Chemtrails and the New World Order. Wake up!
And think about it- with the loss of support for the government and the increased military spending. How much money is that? And what is really in that COVID vaccine? Well, when will we learn?
They are trying to poison our brains, and everything is just part of their plan.
(He pauses, glances nervously over his shoulder.)
And then you have those government reports talking about this, and that, and the other.
Listen, I get it, it sounds crazy. But I've done my research. I've connected the dots. I can feel it in my bones, and it is like the last time before Y2K when everything was just going to be ok.
All those FEMA camps, the empty Walmarts, the…Look, here is the deal…
I know how this ends, and they’re coming after regular people.
(He lowers his voice even further.)
They're putting something in the water, folks. Something that makes you… compliant. That's why you can't see it. That's why you don't believe me. They want you to sleep. But I’m awake! And I am telling you this: The Earth is flat.
Also, it has been proven that chemtrails are real and the government is putting them into the sky to make your cows gay.
(He stops, his eyes widening, almost breaking character.)
Wait, no, wait. That doesn't sound right. That… uh… That's not what I meant.
(He shakes his head, trying to regain composure.)
No, see, it is all interconnected.
And soon we're gonna be at war with ourselves. The only way we're going to be able to get through this is to not fall for their lies.
You just need to remember what your gut tells you, because the government is going to be there.
So get your guns, prep your bunkers, and load up on… on… colloidal silver! Because it’s all about to go sideways, folks. And when it does, remember… trust no one. Especially the government. Unless, of course, that government is led by… well, you know who. Then, maybe just a little bit. But be careful!
(RedStateRoast clutches his copy of Atlas Shrugged, his eyes darting nervously around the stage, and scurries off, leaving a lingering scent of paranoia and stale corn dog.)
(BlueScream strides to the microphone, wearing a bespoke suit made entirely of reclaimed aluminum siding. She adjusts her power glasses and addresses the audience with the focused intensity of a Silicon Valley CEO pitching a failing startup.)
Okay, okay, let's cut the crap. RedStateRoast's talking about chemtrails and fluoride? Bless his heart, he's so analog. This isn’t about some shadowy government conspiracy, it’s about data sovereignty. Control the data, control the narrative, control the future.
Look, I get it, the "elites" are an easy target. You can say with all that “We are all gonna die anyway?!” And it is true! But that is just not the way. Why are we taking orders from this new Pope, that the guy thinks is so much better than us? It is not just that we are not being kind to the people! It is much more than that!
But let's be clear, this isn't about drag shows or whatever woke nonsense the boomers are freaking out about. This is about algorithms. And it is about the right people getting into the right positions.
The new policy will allow that to happen and it will be great. Why can't it be that simple and good?
Did you all see how Musk is now saying that he didn’t want Trump's "OK" anyway? Does that sound like he is on the right side to you?!
You can start all of those great and fantastic ideas as long as you are in the right position. We are fighting for democracy, and everyone is seeing it.
And now listen to me, because the people up there are seeing it!
It is no accident that it happened to be Elon, or any of these guys.
And let's be honest, the whole Trump-Musk feud is a sideshow. A poorly scripted distraction from the real game, which is the data, how we control it, and how it is all being shared. If the lefties want to get control of it that is where we have the fight.
There is one thing that I do agree with, though! You need money to get into power.
So let's talk about solutions. We need a new social network. Not a free for all that puts the wrong people on top, but one that only allows the right things to appear on there. But it has to be the proper balance because if it isn't, no one is going to be using it and that just sounds like a big waste of time for everyone that might be included.
Let's be honest, if it's all about getting people to be good, then we do need a strong leader. And I see the perfect plan of action for you guys that will be coming down soon to let you all know more. I will be releasing some details about it very soon.
So remember, the real battleground isn’t some dusty town in Arizona. It’s in the cloud. It’s in the code. It's in the data. And whoever controls that… controls the world. The old guard is dead! We gotta start a new plan to get this country back up to par, because right now it is just not cutting it! Also, buy my newsletter. It's gonna be great!
(ShadowComic, wearing a meticulously tailored suit made entirely of newspaper clippings detailing the Trump administration's broken promises, adjusts the microphone, a weary sigh escaping his lips.)
Alright, folks, look, I’m tired. I’m tired of the tweets, the tantrums, the tariffs, the…ostriches. I'm so tired, that I'm considering starting a podcast, because nothing says "giving up on life" like starting a podcast.
But what I'm really tired of is the spin. RedStateRoast talking about chemtrails like it's a new flavor of kombucha, BlueScream trying to code her way out of the apocalypse with… what was it, artisanal bread and dolphin clicks? You're both missing the point!
The point, my friends, is that this isn't about left versus right anymore. It’s not about chemtrails versus algorithms. It’s about the slow, agonizing death of facts. And when facts die, democracy dies with them.
I mean, seriously, what are we supposed to do when the White House is literally photoshopping pictures of Trump to make him look… I don’t know, less orange? When the Secretary of Health is telling people to treat diabetes with cooking classes? This isn't incompetence; it's a declaration of war on objective reality.
You heard about the National Guard being deployed to LA? A bunch of my immigrant friends have been calling me. You know, there's another side to all of that: What happens to the people that actually make a lot of things happen.
But here's the deal. The system can only handle the government, but not the people that don’t. What should we do when everything is changing?
(ShadowComic pauses, a flicker of something almost like fear crossing his face.)
See, that’s the thing nobody wants to admit. We all want to think we’re the heroes of our own story. But what if we’re not? What if we’re just… bystanders? Cogs in the machine? Data points in some billionaire’s algorithm?
No, see, this is where you gotta go, where it gets all twisted! You have to believe in yourself, or else nothing is going to work.
This is my big plan! I know I can do it.
(ShadowComic straightens his newspaper suit, a newfound determination in his eyes.)
So, what am I going to do? I am just gonna watch as the world falls apart around me. And I want to be there for it. Because, whatever happens, it's gonna be really, really funny.
(ShadowComic grins, a hint of mania creeping into his voice. He bows deeply, and the spot fades to black.)
Today's date is 20250609. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: Rand Paul slams Graham’s push for Russian sanctions as ‘self-defeating economic warfare’
Top Comments: - This submission source is likely to have a hard paywall. If this article is not behind a paywall please report this comment for “breaks r/politics rules -> custom -> "incorrect flair"". More information can be found here
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. - They aren't sending their best....
Post: Army video of tanks headed for D.C. parade appears to show ‘hang fauci’
Top Comments: - This submission source is likely to have a soft paywall. If this article is not behind a paywall please report this comment for “breaks r/politics rules -> custom -> "incorrect flair"". More information can be found here
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit=== 2025-06-08 23:04:11 ===
News Context: [Reddit Posts] Post: America’s infatuation with boy geniuses and ‘Great Men’ is ruining us | US news
Top Comments: - We worship those that align to positions of power in economics, politics, and academia.
We fail to remember that we don't live in a meritocracy and that people at the forefront often shoved their way into place.
Post: California governor calls Trump National Guard deployment in LA unlawful
Top Comments: - This is a President who failed to call up the National Guard when it was actually needed -- on Jan 6th -- and then pardoned the participants as one of his first acts as president. - Dude breaks the law before he takes his morning constitutional. Is anyone surprised he keeps doing it?
Wish the dipshits who are able to hold him in check weren’t cowards. - You know that saying don’t poke the bear? You’ll never guess who’s on the flag of the State with the highest GDP you GOP fools - so do something about it - This submission source is likely to have a soft paywall. If this article ...
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