(RedStateRoast, as a policy wonk from a conservative think tank, adjusts his glasses and pulls out a heavily annotated copy of the Congressional Budget Office report. He sighs with exasperation.)
Okay, alright, settle down, people. You’re all focused on the shiny objects, the bombs, the illegals, the show. But what about the numbers, people? What about the long-term economic consequences of all this reckless spending? Did anyone actually read the CBO report?
See, all this talk about “Standing with Israel” and “Defending America,” that’s great, but it doesn't pay the bills. And speaking of bills, check this out. “Trump’s Tax Bill Would Add $3.3 Trillion to US Deficits,” huh? And it goes on to do something about just a few thousand people! That don’t even know what to do all day!
And these are just these people, it's the worst thing! But I think that Trump is going to go in and say “I can do whatever I want because it is my destiny!” And he will do exactly that.
And honestly, let’s not pretend that those guys what were trying to do. It's all designed to make you think what is good!
As a think tank guy, here’s what gets my goat: It is to figure out what the heck. How is that they want us to vote for it? How can we have a better thing to happen when they are not giving it with a fair shake. Then people can be free to make what they know all along, do what is great with all our freedom.
Remember I am not a lawyer or those things like that! Just a guy.
See, all this is getting so crazy that the big plan is, they are going to take our all and not be better. So I know, what is what is what we see as what is.
That's a lot of money that they are just throwing over!
They do not need all those things that are for them. So what do we do? We stop it.
(RedStateRoast shuffles his papers nervously, pushing his glasses up his nose.)
I’m just trying to look and see what will be and come and make it stop but how is there a way if they will do it anyway? Well, there isn’t a way! It has to be!
Today's date is 20250703. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: "If anything happens to me, know it was the CIA"
Top Comments: - He is not long for this world. - [deleted] - What in the Qanon is going on here - Uh oh, that sounds familiar.. - You know he’s a nutter when he feels the need to say something like this. - As my grandfather used to say: If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass on the ground when he jumped! - I hope he doesn't have a boating accident. - Another conservative martyr incoming. - My first thought was. "oh boy, here we go"
And then I clicked, and it got weirder from there. - I just read that whole article (mirror available in comments) and I still don't know what that dude does. How is he famous enough to be interviewed by Tucker?! - Ohhh shit here we go again with the whole "the elites are after me" narrative from another right wing nut job. I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked. - Sounds like someone's about to fall out of a window - This dude's not long for this world.
[Edit]
Okay, I had to dig a little deeper to try to figure out what all the fuss was about. So this guy has been pushing for some of the weirdest bills in congress and, frankly, seems pretty unhinged. He's also making a lot of accusations about who's behind the recent attacks on Iran, the war in Ukraine, and about how the government is trying to silence him. He also seems to have a strong aversion to social media which, ironically, is how he built his career. - He’s about to learn what happens when you fuck around.
Can’t wait! - He knows a little to much about those two bullets that killed JFK and what happened to the moon and mars missions - His next appearance will be in a body bag. - I'm sorry to be the guy who's "That's it... That's how it happens!" but... - Oh boy... here we go. I give him 2 weeks. The right never knows how to handle their loose cannons. The left tends to just ignore them and let them do their thing, but the right like to just make them "disappear"
That's why you never see someone like MTG or Boebert go after Trump in any way. - He’s right, but not for the reasons he thinks. - I'll be checking for any news about boating or small plane accidents. - 20 bucks says that he has a sudden and tragic boating accident. - I wouldn't
(BlueScream, early 40s, dressed in a power suit made from upcycled Amazon boxes, adjusts her power glasses and addresses the audience with the focused intensity of a Silicon Valley CEO pitching a failing startup.)
Okay, okay, okay, slow down, folks. I appreciate the… gestures vaguely… the raw emotion. But you all are missing the forest for the trees. This isn’t about power trips or personalities or whether or not some politician’s gonna end up in a gator pit. This is about market dominance.
Look, Trump trying to muscle other countries, that's nothing. It’s just legacy code. What’s he really after? Those new deals on the cloud services! Data localization, baby! He wants all that sweet, sweet European data flowing back to American servers, where he can monetize it, weaponize it, and… well, probably just use it to figure out what brand of spray tan is most popular in Dusseldorf.
And you know who else gets it? That’s right, Elon. That’s why he is there. He knows what is best for the company.
(Adjusts her glasses, a flicker of something unreadable in her eyes)
See, you gotta understand, these guys aren’t just politicians or billionaires, they’re data strategists. They see the world in terms of algorithms, predictive modeling, and… (voice drops to a near-whisper) …customer acquisition funnels. They don't care about left or right, only about the upside.
And it’s all about what has been and has been for all of our lives! That’s why we get back up in here again!
They're not coming for your guns, they’re coming for your search history. They’re not trying to build a wall, they're trying to build a… data lake. So you can swim in it all the time and never ever get off!
(She pauses, a strange, almost pained expression crossing her face)
It’s all happening so fast. It’s hard to keep up, is the biggest reason for this. You know? And I am the one who is doing this all of the time and then I get to think to myself am I going to be great? Or am I just trying to do that thing that I never got to do before? You know?
(Snaps back to her CEO persona)
Anyway, that’s why I’m excited about my new venture: SoulChain. We’re building a decentralized, blockchain-based platform where individuals can reclaim ownership of their digital selves. We’re talking verifiable identity, immutable data provenance, and… (lowers voice again) …personalized afterlife experiences.
Think of it as a Web3-powered… heaven. You know, but without all the pesky religious dogma. Just pure, unadulterated data-driven bliss. And with our 2.0 plan all those people won’t be able to get all this stuff!
Because if you can’t beat them, disrupt them. And if you can’t disrupt them, at least make a few million bucks trying.
(ShadowComic, dressed as a survivalist, enters wearing camping gear, a tinfoil hat, and a disturbingly serene smile. He chuckles softly)
Oh, you sweet summer children. Thinking you can code your way out of this mess, or regulate your way to freedom? You think being nice to people will make this all go away?
Nah. See, BlueScream and I think there has to be people on the Right that are gonna be nice to us about stuff, it just isn't true! And those guys with the computer programs, are what they all are what you need! All you gotta think is that what is going on is that the way to do it is to see what has been going on in the part!
And as those people get more and more done what does that make me want to get? To be in charge of the world and not care about what has been!
There is this one thing I read about it. So what if someone told you what to think and you did that so well that you were not being able to see what was in the forest what was being said?
And so that is what has to make us all know!
No, no, no, see, the real power comes from knowing how to survive. The only way you can do it is if you just do what you are already supposed to do! There is just a certain amount that you are going to get. That’s is.
There are new people that know who you are, just by knowing that you do what you know to do to make all of this happen. That is the whole problem with all of the people we say that were bad, is they know what you are doing and will not give it over to who is really running the show!
It’s like it’s just about seeing what we all are seeing with our eyes! There is what it is, and we have to know that what happens with all the power, all the money, and all the things that we know, isn't for what it is with God, so we just can't believe it!
See, this isn't a left-right paradigm, it’s a vertical one. It’s about the strong versus the weak, the prepared versus the complacent, the…pauses, squints at a hand-drawn diagram on a piece of bark …the “fully self-reliant versus the dependent government unit.”
And let me tell you something, government is gonna have to save us now. That is what it will be for the rest of us. I’ve been digging! I've been stocking up on non-GMO seeds, water purification tablets, and… checks notes …a comprehensive guide to edible wild mushrooms.
And that does actually mean to go vote. You still gotta go vote. But when you are doing that you have to vote for who will bring the truth with our lord Jesus. The one who will get us ready for the days to come.
But also, to get all those great things you need to follow, the key thing is that there are very few things that people understand in the world, and you may not get in. So you can have all the codes and all the government, but what you will need to know is how to handle yourself.
(Leans into the mic, a strange, almost fanatical glint in his eyes)
So, anyway, the end of the world is gonna be coming and what can any of us do when it does?
Today's date is 20250706. The year is 2025 and we are living in a much-changed world.
You have just read a fresh batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary about the latest US politics:
[Reddit summary] Post: Rand Paul: The US has become the world's leading arms dealer, and that is not a good thing.
Top Comments: - It wasn't a good thing when it was our leading export - >“What’s the answer to that?” Paul asked. “More government? More taxes? More regulations? When is government ever the answer?”
For arms deals, the answer is government regulations and strict enforcement on who we sell weapons too. - When the war machine is the only thing keeping your economy afloat. - So, how exactly does that stop arms dealers from selling arms? Does he want them to give them away? - Just in time for the 4th of July.
Nothing says American pride more than profiting off global deaths. - Rand Paul just now discovering that his party has a boner for war? - You know, the US could be selling the world solar panels and wind turbines and high-speed rail and sustainable farming practices and all sorts of other useful things. But nope. We sell death. - I’m sorry Rand Paul, but you are part of the problem. - > “We’re told if we don’t send the arms to Ukraine then Putin will take over all of Europe, but I don’t think so,”
Oh, ok. Well, that clears that up, then.
I'm curious, what is Rand's proposed solution here?
The world needs some kind of force that can project power and prevent any single country from invading its neighbors. China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea are all aggressively threatening their neighbors, and all five of them are allied against democracy and the west.
So, in Rand's world, what is the correct answer? Do we just let these