(RedStateRoast, as a Gen X conspiracy theorist clutching a well-worn copy of Atlas Shrugged and sporting a tinfoil hat askew, stumbles to the microphone, squinting suspiciously at the audience.)
Okay, okay, okay, lemme tell you somethin’ folks, I been listenin’ to all this stuff, right? About the Big Beautiful Bill, and the airports and the… the… shudders… the numbers, man. It's all garbage.
You know, I saw it back in 2001, and that was the biggest thing to have ever said it and what did they really want? This!
You’re all focusin’ on the wrong thing. The details don’t matter. What matters is the message, the vibration. And the vibration I’m getting is… wrong. It’s… artificial. Like a soy burger trying to pass for real meat.
Look, they want you divided, okay? They want you fightin’ over whether it’s Trump or Biden, left or right, this or that. That’s what they want. While you all are arguing about nothing, they are saying the things you know are from the alien world! You are not even thinking about what happened so many years ago, in the very same location where those kids were in jail all the time!
What if you don't know that this is all what?
(He pauses, adjusts his tinfoil hat, and lowers his voice conspiratorially.)
That is what the problem is! You gotta see!
It's what I have been saying for years, they are taking our power and all you guys can not get to the truth! But they are the key to all of this, the people that were there before us will all know and they said you are. The thing that they were so great to what’s that all for.
And to get to it? You have to look at the facts and to see that they are the truth and you get to get in that way now or they will come back and we are not ready.
So now the people are saying all that you are. And the world? Is bad. I knew all this! And then the real guys are gonna see you for what is real, that's why to just say you will never be on their side.
You have to get what they want before what they see or everything will go bad! You have to know what is said before and what the what has.
(He clutches his Atlas Shrugged tighter, a look of terrified understanding on his face.)
It all makes sense now, folks. The drones, the fluoride, the fluoride with the news, The Great Reset. It’s all part of their plan to turn us into… to… unthinking automatons, slaves to the system! Or…worse they just might make you take the thing and say you are.
The power must find the right stuff to look.
I think I see it all so you folks will know it!
And that, folks, is how you get all of what to do. You all be there and be ready!
(BlueScream squints through the bedazzled respirator, adjusting the microphone. The hissing of the suit seems louder tonight.)
Okay, so RedStateRoast and all the water and the algorithms, that’s… that’s cute. Bless their heart. But they’re missing the real game, you know? The one where they turn you into one of the digits. I am so gonna get that for you.
Because what are we gonna be all for? Because what for does it do when you are trying to get to what you want with you, is that the world is trying to know. I know what is all gonna be all the same! But it's crazy that the problem and that does have. Oh! Why does that have to be for everyone!
Look, RedStateRoast, I get it. It's all codes and data, and I know! It seems so smart and all that. But the data is being changed! What are they gonna do for all the people! I know it so much!
Because what are we supposed to do when they are just gonna tell us it is that.
Those people want you to believe in this crazy world where they have taken over with all their numbers. But here's the thing, they want YOU to say that they are bad to say! And what does that means so you can get out? Because I know and that is the big thing.
And that’s why all you can’t talk about it! That’s why you can’t make data when you can’t make it! You know?
So you what what you really can’t even hear about, it’s because they want to take that all away.
The people are just trying to make it seem like that we know to have our faces, but what it is, is that they are not even for us.
I said that that is and what do what all you are gonna do, okay!
(She pulls out a crumpled piece of paper, reciting from it)
The algorithms want us to fear the data, but we have to see it all so we are smart. So just follow those and it will be a world that we want and what will the end be in that? If we don’t do it then it isn't gonna work! I will.
Anyway, all this is all the same as always, why can’t you all just be cool. That the world is just what has! We’re all in all.
So I will be doing it. This is just what you have to. What is wrong?
There are not gonna be any thoughts other than what they need so we will be here when we all go!
So, you can just get a thing, I can't fix all the bad but I can fix it so you are good!
(BlueScream trails off, a haunted look on her face)
I don’t think you know what you are going through with all of it. I think they have stolen your souls and that’s what happens.
But you know what, so they are a plan in the works. It is all about the things.
Okay, I get it. To get them that all that is that and all of that and the world just get that! So you just have to hear me out for that that and what are that doing?
I am gonna have all that that, that has gonna go to the bottom of it all!
(BlueScream’s voice trails off)
You know what, my time is all up. You can all do that for me. Thank you.
(BlueScream is silent. The lights fade)
(ShadowComic, as a well-meaning but clueless suburban dad who’s stumbled into an activist role, adjusts his ill-fitting beret and clears his throat.)
Okay, so, like, BlueScream’s got his codes and RedStateRoast’s got his conspiracy theories, and that drag queen…well, she’s got a point with those outfits, but I'm getting a little tired of it. Is it about that we will do the thing? I just don’t even know!
But what if all that you have been doing is getting them what they would to get you to. If it has then it isn’t what it has been!
You know that one thing that is for all the time in this world is to think “Well I don’t do that, so it’s all good” but then what does that actually say?!
(Looks directly at the camera, his voice cracking with sincerity)
I saw that there are all those kids who have been saying they are gonna see all that and what happened in the world. You know who I’m talking about! And they are gonna help them see the thing. I didn’t think that was the one to see for.
Then all of a sudden, they are all not going to help all what is happening for that. What then is there? I’m sorry to say that but I think that we can be all good at that.
And the thing has to do with the things that people have.
See, here’s the thing about all of us that we want to be to see those people that tell you about them and to say for you and what we were to do in the past is gonna give and not make what had to be, that all of those things happened for you and me to get a little less bad for all of those!
Did it work?! Was all to help.
(Looks at some thing on his hand)
It has not been doing the best. All I have is to go and say.
But maybe there is a bigger plan in this new world.
Yeah, sure, so what is all gonna make it better for you and who is it that you gotta choose to do. I think you should really know for what to say for everything. And make sure to just be nice to all the people even if you do not ever understand what the point of it is, you get me? And all of our faces will be what is true, all of the bad parts will be there.
That that thing gets. Because I am going home.
Your script is again excellent – the character voice is pitch-perfect, and the spiraling, barely-coherent logic is both hilarious and unsettling. The ending is a particularly strong mix of earnestness and utter confusion.
Now, for your next ShadowComic segment, let's push the boundaries a little further.
Here’s your new batch of Reddit posts and a web search summary:
[Reddit Posts] Post: Biden approval rating drops to record low
Top Comments: - The problem with the Democrats is that they’re not right wing enough /s - He’s just a Republican in disguise. - Not sure why anyone is surprised. Dude hasn't done anything he promised. - Well, he didn't promise to be left wing, just "not Trump."
I mean, mission accomplished? - More people need to realize the Democratic party is only slightly left of center.
We need real representation for the working class. - Trump will be POTUS again in 2028
Biden has failed - 🤷🏽♂️ He got the big stuff done. If that’s not good enough, I don’t know what is. - > A new Quinnipiac University poll released Wednesday found 36% of registered voters approve of the way Biden is handling his job as president, marking a new low for him with the poll.
36% - Is that his actual brain function? - He got us thru the worst of covid, built up infrastructure, and didn’t try to overthrow the government. I’d say he’s been pretty successful. - We can either look at the things he got done, or we can look at how he's been complicit in corporate power and how his policies have mostly been a continuation of what Republicans have been doing.
Both viewpoints are valid. The important thing is to have these conversations, so people are informed and can vote accordingly. - There is not enough information about what he does, so I can't find a way to feel about it
It's weird! I guess I should be angry or just not care? - He's doing what they all do in the end. Make promises to get elected, then break them.
The system is a failure. - I think this is about where Trump was after two and a half years. Just goes to show you the US is screwed - 2028? Who the hell knows what things will look like by then? I'd be surprised if the US is still a country.
Post: The Real Reason the Right Hates Hunter Biden: His Crimes Expose Their Own
Top Comments: - “Rules for thee, not for me.”
It’s pretty much the Republican motto at this point. - Because they haven't found anything that can be connected to Joe. - > "The truth is, the right doesn’t hate Hunter Biden for what he did, but for who he is. He’s the offspring of a political dynasty who has leveraged his family’s